Pistolas FC 2011

ROME - Finally, as we draw to the conclusion of our International Gameplans, we close off with the current World Cup holders, team Italia.

Any which way, this kind of theatrics will be crucial in carrying out the Italian gameplan.

To keep it short and sweet, Rocco and Luciano, would gather the troops to amass an impermeable wall on defence, whilst the likes of midfielder Marcello makes some small ideas to Ivano playing the striker position and going down in the box like so:

...and slip up. But forget the England national, this is about Italy. And so, with the pressure of the penalty kicks, the problem is you might end up like this guy,

Who shot the ball here,

And for the rest of his life, will be resigned to reading this book:

GLASGOW - This next plan dubbed the 'Scottish Plan' is notorious of the haggis eating nation in both European and World Cup competitions. Nevertheless, the idea of Pistolas FC adopting this plan is just as bad an idea as Chris Brown remaking the the Michael Jackson hit "Beat It."

In fact, this gameplan reminds me of that international case that made headlines around the world, about the boy who wanted to live away from his parents; it goes something like this:

Judge: "So, little boy, why do you want live away from your dad?"

Boy: "I don't want to live with my dad because he beats me."

Judge: "So then why don't you go live with your mother?"

Boy: "She beats me too."

Judge: "Well, I don't know what to say. Who do you want to live with then?"

Boy: "The Scottish National Team."

Judge: "The Scottish National Team??? Why do you want to go live with them???"

Boy: "Because they don't beat anyone!"

And without further adue, I present the Scottish Gameplan:

TORONTO - What happened to the Pistolas FC website over the past week or so?

Don't worry Pistolas FC fans, the website has had a brief hiatus - and for good reason (news to follow), but returns with more on Wednesday, February 25th, 2009.

And our team of dedicated writers (above) are closer to the action that you could ever imagine!

So stay tuned, and we'll see you Wednesday, as we close out the 'International Gameplan' series with Scotland on Wednesday, Germany on Thursday, and Italy on Friday.

SAO PAULO - The Samba nation has had its wealth of success, style and flair, and no one deserves more credit than that thin 18 year old boy back in 1958 who not only fuelled a nation, but garnered so much global interest and lucrative offers, that he was officially declared a national treasure by the Government of Brazil and remained playing for Santos F.C.

His moves looked effortless; like a hypnotic, rhythmic dance. And he inspired a series of national legends like Zico, Socrates, Careca, Romario, Cafu, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Kaka - to name only a few!

The Brazilian teams have dazzled the world with their skill, footwork, and ball possession - sometimes to their own demise as goals ultimately win, and on occasion they've come up short.

But in the analysis of today's plan, The Brazilian Plan, we look at everything that could go right. The plan starts off in net and involves the entire team. A slow buildup of loop-de-loops and passes, culminating with a single striker faking a retreat only to complete his figure eight move and dribble the ball over the goal line. A fantastic plan for Pistolas FC!


On second thought, all we have going for us at this point would be the nicknames Davidinho and Romerinho. The rest will need a few more practices before we can pull this off.

This weekend, we'll feature The Scottish plan on Saturday, The German Plan on Sunday, and we'll wrap up the series on Monday with a special edition - The Italian Plan.

MARKHAM - Elastic Man had a fine career as a 'superhero.' He did his thing and nobody ever got hurt - partly because of his freakish nature of elongating his arms and legs any which way to save the day.

Guy falling off a building? No problem, Elastic Man will do a reach around and save him, albeit with one hand, and from the penthouse.

But it's what has become of Elastic Man since his retirement, that has a coalition of teams, led by Pistolas FC, fuming in protest.

You would think a guy like Elastic Man would take it easy; maybe play Bridge, or take up tennis; rock climbing would be right up his alley too.

Once a 'hero' this mutant is meddling in the foray of men's rec soccer, posing an unfair advantage.

"There's no place for this in soccer," griped the Raging Bull, referring to Elastic Man's now notorious photo, "Sure it seems innocent enough, the guy appears to be just stretching his arm 4 or 5 meters. But what's to say he won't stretch a leg when he comes up short on a slide tackle. And what if the team's keeper is absent one game - would Elastic Man be allowed to play in net? It's absolutely ridiculous!"

"It appears to me as though Elastic Man has a temper, as seen his notorious photo," chimed in Davidinho, "He's lost it as far as I'm concerned. I used to idolize him as a child, but this inability to control himself in a non-mutant league gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'abuse of powers.'"

In the below, 'notorious picture,' Elastic Man is seen elasticizing his arm in anger, putting the referee in danger!


And he's not alone.

Tomorrow in Part 2, we'll bring you the story of another Mutant who threatens the league with his unfair advantage.

MARKHAM - Today's feature game plan also resembles many a game last year for our beloved "Striker"(s) - (cough) Charles (cough).

It starts with getting everyone on the team involved in a play, including having a brilliant chance upfront only to turn around and send it back to the mids.

At some points with all the passing and moving around, guys got so dizzy they didn't even know which way they were going!

Alas, after all the glorious play and pretty passes, the ball ultimately landed on our strikers, who seemed to do everything in their power to follow the below game plan to a tee! One even missed "14" chances in one game!

I don't know about you, but maybe we should stick clear of this one this year. Have a look:



Tomorrow, Friday, we'll feature the Brazilian plan which actually is a plausible idea for this year! See you tomorrow.

MARKHAM - They wanted youth, speed, fitness, skill, and a goal scoring ability like no other. So Pistolas FC went out, and lured a natural goalscorer away from his pro-sport; they landed 'The Rocket' himself.

I said 'The Rocket' not 'The Russian Rocket.'



As a standout kicker/punter for the University of Western Mustangs, Rob Pikula's 'rocket-leg' earned him a spot as a 2004 CIS All Star.

After the Mustangs, Rob turned to professional football playing in the CFL.



Behind the scenes, Pistolas FC learned that Rob has been a star athlete no matter what the sport, and wants to rekindle his love and skill of futbol from his youth career. Rob joins the team as the youngest member of the squad, and we couldn't be happier as our lungs surely could use a rest.

It's also exciting to have him join in at the striker position as his presence and fitness will add a new dimension to the team.

Nicknamed 'The Rocket' for his rocket-leg, I can only hope keepers learn their lesson quickly and get out of the way on his shots, or else they may end up like this guy!

MARKHAM - Though today's gameplan is called The Turkish Plan, one can only wonder if it should be renamed 'The Marcello.'

As you may recall, former defencemen (turned midfielder thank goodness!), Marcello Maiorano, teaches us all his strategy for how to deal with the valid ref response to the 'I'm too slow so I'll pull you down' move against opponents.

Please note all players on the field at the time would be mandated to run not walk in this gameplan.

After careful consultation, this may not be the best approach. But you be the judge!


Tommorow, we'll review the French Plan, stay tuned.

MARKHAM - The name Frank 'The Tank' may have been made famous by look-a-like Will Ferrell in the movie Old School, but on the soccer pitch, it's synonymous for defensive standout - and latest Pistolas FC signing - Frank Molony.

A former high school Junior and Senior Soccer MVP, Frank 'The Tank' Molony is exactly the defensive piece that PFC has been searching for - especially with the loss of injured All-Star Jason Shumski.

Following his high school success Frank went on to play for Celtic F.C. - the same club where Pistolas FC pinched 'The Asian Persuasion' Julius Auyeung from. Once again PFC had their ear to the ground and when they found out Frank was available, they quickly moved in and swooped him off the February transfer wire.

The selling point was Frank's promise to team captain, Charles Eppich, to follow a strict diet and training regimen, and the team is hopeful that he can regain the fitness of his glory years pictured below.

Past scouting reports from his native Ireland rave about his passing, shooting andpositioning, but it's his ball handling skills that they found magically delicious!

And don't forget, our daily segment on National Teams continues today at 2:00pm, where we'll take a look at the Turkish Gameplan.

MARKHAM - With the addition of 5 new players to the PFC roster, (and two more to come), alongside the fact that a shake up of some sort needed to be addressed after last years early playoff exit, the focus in training camp now shifts to developing a proper gameplan.


Over the course of the next 7 days at 2:00pm, we'll bring you 7 different gameplans from across the globe and examine their effectiveness.


We start with the English Plan. Basically this play would involve keeper Mark Cinerari launching it up to a lone striker in position - either Romerinho, Charles, or newcomer Rob Pikula. Kinda reminicent to some plays from last year actually! Take a look:

Tommorow, we'll take a look at the Turkish Plan, so be sure to check back.

MARKHAM - Last years field conditions were less than desirable to say the least; a mix of 8 inch blades of grass and putting green ON THE SAME FIELD; and divets and ditches that eventually led to the horrible knee injury of star player Eddy Megurian. And these were the good fields!

TORONTO - PistolasFC.com broke two of its own records this past week, setting a staggering and steady increase in readership.

After a strong start to the February offseason month, and coming off a flurry of activity in January in regards to the '09 roster, pistolasfc.com expected an above average number daily hits to the website anyways, but on Wednesday February 4th, 2009, the site drew a single day record for unique visitors, eclipsing the previous mark by 6 hits - a record that stood since April of last year.

Then, with a continued rate of above average hits, the weekly record was in sights. As Saturday rounded out with average numbers, it was doubtful that the weekly record would be broken, as Sunday - traditionally a slower day - would require a large number of visitors.

To the surprise of the team at PFC, not only did they break the weekly record, but they didn't have to wait long, as by 4:00pm the record was broken - and continued with traffic up until midnight.

PistolasFC.com has responded by committing more resources to running daily articles or multiple articles on given days, as a thanks to our avid readers.

Keep enjoying www.pistolasfc.com and don't forget to bookmark us and spread the word!

TORONTO - Plans are underway for the 2009 PFC BMO Field Training Camp. With a couple of Indoor Dates still available, both past and present Pistolas will be invited for an informal training session. Team Directors are just reviewing possible dates before final details will be sent out to players.