Friday, February 13, 2009
MARKHAM - Elastic Man had a fine career as a 'superhero.' He did his thing and nobody ever got hurt - partly because of his freakish nature of elongating his arms and legs any which way to save the day.
Guy falling off a building? No problem, Elastic Man will do a reach around and save him, albeit with one hand, and from the penthouse.
But it's what has become of Elastic Man since his retirement, that has a coalition of teams, led by Pistolas FC, fuming in protest.
You would think a guy like Elastic Man would take it easy; maybe play Bridge, or take up tennis; rock climbing would be right up his alley too.
Once a 'hero' this mutant is meddling in the foray of men's rec soccer, posing an unfair advantage.
"There's no place for this in soccer," griped the Raging Bull, referring to Elastic Man's now notorious photo, "Sure it seems innocent enough, the guy appears to be just stretching his arm 4 or 5 meters. But what's to say he won't stretch a leg when he comes up short on a slide tackle. And what if the team's keeper is absent one game - would Elastic Man be allowed to play in net? It's absolutely ridiculous!"
"It appears to me as though Elastic Man has a temper, as seen his notorious photo," chimed in Davidinho, "He's lost it as far as I'm concerned. I used to idolize him as a child, but this inability to control himself in a non-mutant league gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'abuse of powers.'"
In the below, 'notorious picture,' Elastic Man is seen elasticizing his arm in anger, putting the referee in danger!
And he's not alone.
Tomorrow in Part 2, we'll bring you the story of another Mutant who threatens the league with his unfair advantage.
